Damage

All of us are damaged in varying magnitudes. Many a times we don't know how to deal with the damage and bury it deep within us hoping it to stay dormant there. Even when we don't feel it's existence all the time, it is still very much present. These unresolved damages have a way of resurfacing from time to time and making you go into an abyss of gloom.

We are social animals. We need people. True. I have a bunch of people who have literally saved me from turning into a lunatic. And I'm eternally thankful to the heavens for sending them to me at the right time, to ensure that I kept sane.

On one hand while people can act as  saviors,  on the other hand it is indeed people who can also be perpetrators of deep seated, emotional damage in you. Our own species can save us as well as destroy us. Unfortunately and fortunately I have had both these types of people in my life.

I always stick by the adage, having " no relationship " is better than having a toxic relationship! A lot of people ask me if I don't miss having siblings. My answer is no. Unless the pros outweigh the cons, I really don't miss the idea. The question is not about having siblings,  the question is  about what kind of relationship you share with them. If I have had siblings with whom I had a toxic relationship, I'd rather be happy without it.  But on the contrary if I'd have a healthy relationship with them, I'd welcome the idea of siblingship. Same goes with any sort of relationship in my life. If it's damaging my sense of sanity, I'd rather be without it please!

A lot of times the perpetrators of damage are our own familia. They infuse psychological damage and mask it as love. And the worst,  they're usually convinced that what they're doing is right and it is their duty and all that jazz. I often hear the word,  " all this is for your own good". No!  Darlings, this is doing me no good but fucking me up as a person, sorry to burst that insecurity laden bubble of yours. People almost all the time direct their self hatred towards you in various unhealthy ways and I can't even explain how.

The saying, "sometimes you're just collateral damage in someone else's war against themselves" holds true for me. I feel whatever hassles people have subjected me to are a result of their own unresolved issues with themselves. Their insecurities, their own lack of faith in themselves, them feeling like shit from within.

What do we do when we are faced with people who are damaging us? 
Well I distance myself. But when it is family, well it's a tough nut to crack.

Mind you, most relationships are imperfect and one must adjust and compromise and all that. But what you shouldn't ignore is your mental health. If you're feeling like you'd go crazy around them and that your spirits are being sucked away, then I'd advice you to take a call and be  independent and move out. You can definitely "love" them from a distance.

Surround yourself with healthy minded, mature,  good beings who constantly manure your grown and not nip it in the bud. All of us are not blessed with the best relationships. But the catch is in looking out for and making the ones that you aren't born with. There are definitely a lot of wonderful people around probably in search of someone just like you.
So don't lose hope.
And don't tolerate any form of shit, from ANYONE!

Love, Harsha.