Masturdate!

I'm glad that the time has come now that people are embracing their singularity  rather than being in a mad haste to be in relationships. Not so long ago, singularity was looked down upon, it was considered uncool but today single is the new sexy.

You find a lot of them happily flaunting their single status on social media, even the ones who apparently are in relationships!
It's a great time to be alive when people are open to not being defined by someone else and are comfortable in their individuality.

As a teen, I looked forward to that big moment happening when I too joined the bandwagon of relationships. But, more than that, I wanted to have an emotional companionship because during my teenage, I didn't have deep friendships and I was quite lonely.

I thought a relationship would magically overturn my world for good. But slowly I realized that the purpose of a relationship should never be to cover up your personal insecurities. Rather,  one must achieve a certain level of security, and then be in a romantic partnership.

Besides, everything comes with its share of good and bad. It's not always going to be roses and rainbows.

As I grew up to who I am today, my priorities began shifting. Now, a  relationship is not a necessity. It is just something that will happen if and when it has to happen and there is absolutely no hurry or compulsion to be in one.

I have meaningful emotional bonds, I have people I can call up and vent to, I have people with whom I can laugh with, have deep intellectual conversations with or even talk absolute bullshit with. I have people I am sure of having my back. That's everything I can ask for. A romantic relationship will only be the cherry on the cake.

Of course there are certain needs that only a relationship can fulfill. The intimacy is definitely something that is missing in my life and yes I do crave for physical affection especially because I am an extremely physical person. I love being hugged and kissed and even a mere affectionate touch means the world to me. (From the right people ofcourse )

I miss being romantically loved and more than that, I miss giving love!  My need to express love is sometimes greater that my need to  recieve it.

However, leaving that aside, I'm comfortable in my singularity, and I don't look down upon me for my relationship status. I don't feel something is amiss to be single nor do I feel compelled to get into a relationship.

I know my worth and I know I'm a woman of substance and got everything that it takes. The absensce of  a man doesn't affect the way I perceive myself anymore.

We all need to learn to "masturdate"
Okay, don't be startled. It is a slang for taking yourself out for movies, dinners, basically doing things alone, that you'd otherwise do with a partner.. Ahem.

It's basically Being self sufficient.

It is very important to shape our individualities and learn to be comfortable alone,  because it is only when you mend our relationship with ourselves that we can have mature relationships with others.

Love, Harsha.

Demand Respect!

Menstrual untouchability is a thing guys. A very prevalent thing. Inspite of all the progress we have made in every sphere of life, it's downright disgusting that things like these aren't a thing of the past yet.

I haven't been subjected to a lot of  discrimination as I have been living in a nuclear household and even though my mother tried to shove some of her age old ideologies upon me, i never paid heed.

But I remember being subjected to these unjust practices back in my home town. One morning, my maternal uncle was supposed to go to temple, and I was menstruating. Unaware of it, he came and pulled my cheeks.
My aunt, (his wife) disgruntedly pulled him away but it was "too late".

He was visibly upset and gave me a disappointed look. As a 12 year old, the impact it had on me was huge. I remember feeling embarrassed and unsettled and clueless on how to respond to his sudden transition from affection to dismay just because I was on my periods!

Even though I was forced to follow a lot of these regressive practices, I never believed in them. On growing up, I realized that these were highly misogynistic and degrading of women.

I gradually evolved to break every rule in the book when it came to menstrual practices. I have even committed the "heinous sin" of going to a temple while menstruating.

If any religion deems you impure because of a very natural biological process that you're going through, I don't feel the need to follow that religion. I'm sure no God would ever claim his creation impure or worthy of mistreatment in any form. If that is the case, I doubt the credibility of that God.

These practices have a psychological impact on a woman, it affects a women's self worth and dignity.

A lot of women happily follow these practices and encourage others as well to do so because this is what they have been witnessing since childhood and  consider it a normal part of womanhood to ever doubt it.
Changing deep seated mindsets is an utopian task. A lot others are forced to follow lead.

But I'm sure a lot of women like me think otherwise and refuse to bow down to age old backward societal practices.

Chage may not happen in a day, but we can definitely sow a seed by imparting the right knowledge to our fellow girls and boys and also refusing to feed these beliefs.

P. S: I am exhilarated by today's verdict allowing women to enter Sabarimala. Things won't change in a day, but I'm sure  these recent developments will prove beneficial in the larger scheme of things. It is indeed a revolutionary decision towards gender equality.

Love Harsha